EMILY GILL: THIS MOMENT

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Want to know the truth? Long distance relationships TOTALLY suck. I am hardly a relationship expert but if you are currently in a long distance relationship trust in this; if you two are able to love, support, and acknowledge the spark from a distance then you'll be unstoppable once you're physically together. Never underestimate your love, near or far. That’s all… just kidding. It has been 52 days of living in ‘Merica and no longer being in a long distance relationship! In the beginning, it didn't feel real to either of us. The first week, I felt anxious that I was going to have to board a plane and say “see you later”. However, once I got my head around the fact that I was STAYING… it hit me… hard. I didn’t have to fly back to complete an internship or finish school, I wasn't leaving this time. We had spent countless hours on FaceTime talking about this, and endured what felt like a million miles between us so we both could work on our dreams… for THIS moment. 

Colb, was already the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, best friend and perfect person that I knew. So adding roommate to that list would be a breeze, right? NOPE. If any couple tells you that when they first move into together that they don’t bicker about stuff… they’re lying to you. Don’t get me wrong I thought I loved Colb before I moved here but when you’re roommates with someone, you see a side of them that no one else does, and it’s not always pretty. It’s snorting while laughing, it’s cleaning up their puke when they’re sick, it’s the tears when it feels like it’s all crashing down. It’s the random dance parties in the kitchen, it’s the anger and it's the joy. It’s not always an easy ride, but my God I have learned it’s heaven of a ride. Some of the best and funniest days of my life so far have been over these past 52 days. One of those days being the day we moved into our place. I really do wish we had a video of the two of us. We had a moving truck filled with a huge couch, a king sized mattress, bed frame, tables, TVs, storage bins, and everything else under the sun. We somehow managed to carry it all out of a storage trailer, into the truck, out of the truck, and then up three floors without any carts! Shockingly, we didn’t kill each other. Phewf, we had passed our first test as roommates and could laugh about it!

The next test would come a few days after. Colb, gave me his credit card to pick up a bunch of stuff for him while he was at the rink. When I was at Walmart that morning, I saw a little kid crying over a toy. I am not talking about crying like a spoiled brat because if that was the case I would have shook my head and kept on walking. However, it was very clear that his parents couldn't afford this toy for their son and it was heartbreaking to watch them try and explain that to him. I ended up buying the toy for the child but couldn’t help to be nervous about Colb's reaction to a children’s toy on his receipt. When he got home after practice, I broke down crying and apologized that I used his card to buy a kid a toy. I knew deep down he wouldn't be mad at me for doing it but I felt bad and needed to get it off my chest. His first reaction was “how much are we talking here?” which quickly turned into “how can I be mad at you for doing that?” Phewf, we passed our second test as roommates and only a few tears were shed! 

As time went by, I started noticing some tendencies of Colb that I hadn’t seen before. One night, I hesitantly asked him what quirky tendencies of mine had he seen since I had moved in. Before even taking second to think, he blurted out “your OCD”. I was shocked at first, I am not gonna lie so he explained to me why he picked that. He said every time that he comes home from the rink, the blanket on the couch is folded the exact same way, the TV remotes are lined up at the bottom right corner of the coffee table, and a candle is lit. If he is cooking dinner, I will clean up and put away stuff around him. Most of the time he still needs the stuff that I am cleaning up but if the kitchen is messy before the food is done, I can’t just sit, eat, finish dinner, and clean up later. In the bathroom, our towels are always folded a certain a way. Our calendar in the kitchen is filled with appointments, games, guests visiting, and any other significant time or date so we are always organized. When making our bed I will never tuck the sheets in on my side because I hate feeling trapped. I remember being terrified of this as a kid and that I wouldn't be able to escape. Lastly, I have to follow my shower routine in order to feel completely clean that day. I have talked about this in previous blogs but if I don’t follow my routine, I feel gross the rest of the day. After he was done sharing these tendencies, I began sharing what tendencies I was noticing of Colb. Once we were both done, we agreed that this kind of tough love is the love that accepts you where you are but also the kind that nudges you to grow. Phewf, we passed our third test as roommates and no feelings were hurt (kinda)! 

One of the last tests we had as roommates was this past Saturday. It’s been a big and sometimes difficult transition for me moving here. In the beginning especially on Canadian Thanksgiving, I missed my family and friends greatly. As time has passed, I have been lucky enough to find a great group of church friends and med students that have taken me under their wings. This upcoming Thursday is American Thanksgiving so we had been invited to a few Friendsgivings. However, on Saturday we were at dinner with my group of friends and I was reminded how this move was the best decision I’ve ever made. Colb was a little nervous to attend but stuck it out knowing that I have gone to countless hockey events with him. Before we started dinner, we went around the table to give a little bio about ourselves. When it came to me, I talked about my education, my family, YouAreMore and my decision to move here for Colb. When it came to Colb’s turn, he looked at me, in front of a group of people he didn't know, and started off his bio by saying “I am the proud boyfriend of Emily”. He has no idea how proud I was of him in that moment. He was so nervous what he was going to say but he wasn't ashamed to shock a few people with his answer. This is the moment I realized he is my number one fan and ain't going anywhere. This is the warm and fuzzy moment that I had prayed for as a little girl. This is the moment that all the suffering I have endured became worth it. This is the moment that I realized losing what I thought was my childhood love, not only made me stronger but it gave me Colb a few years later. This is the moment that I realized everything was worth the wait. So for anyone who is currently in a long distance relationship, single and struggling to find a partner, who is heartbroken over a loss… this below is for YOU. Don’t lose hope of this person or this day because it will come, I promise you. 

Dear younger me,

 This is him. This is the boy who will love you despite your every fault and all your tendencies. This is the boy who thinks there is nobody in the world like you. This is the boy whose loyalty and love for you will top the charts. This is the boy who will become a man whose determination to provide a future for you will set him apart from others. This man will do his best. He will make mistakes. He will cry to you with regrets. But he will fight for you. He will love you wholeheartedly and unconditionally; there is nothing in the world that can tear him away from you. Other people will try. But this is the man who will shun all the others because to him, you are irreplaceable. This is him. You will forever have his love because this is the one. So love him and soak up his love… because he believes you are worth it.